December 12, 2009

She sat there, sweating. Couldn’t believe it was this time already. Where had all the time gone? As she looked  through the glass at all the people on the other side, watching her, she couldn’t help but feel important. It was the first time in her life she had ever felt this important. This was good.

Ever since she was a little girl, she just wanted to feel like she was important to someone. Look now, there were something like 30 people out there, watching her. She was definitely important to them. There were men in suits and women in dresses. All dressed up to see her and the show. She smiled wishing she could take a bow. There had to be applause at the end of the show, right?

A man came up to her and made sure  she was strapped in. No Houdini acts they had said. There would be no escape. Not for a mere mortal. She was not a mere mortal. She was a woman, and a woman in charge. This was her show and she would run it any way she wanted. These people had come to see her, not the stupid man giving her rules. He could go to hell with his rules! She licked her lips in anticipation.

The man looked at her with just a tinge of pity. Stupid man. She was beyond pity. Pity was for fools and the weak. Didn’t he know who she was? Another man came out in robes and read to her from the Bible. “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,” he began. She tuned him out. She wasn’t walking anywhere, anyone could see that. The leather straps were digging into her skin on her legs, arms, and neck. “For you are with me, O Lord, your rod and staff, they comfort me.” That was weird. Who was ever comforted by a rod?

Her mind began to wander and she thought of her ex-husband. He hadn’t been a particularly nice man, but he hadn’t been mean either. He was tolerable. Not the best looking, but not ugly, he had chosen her to be his wife and she had been glad. She thought she would never be picked. They had an average marriage. Not happy, but not sad. Until one day she had smelled another woman’s perfume on him. He assuaged her fears with the story of an old friend who had given him a hug, for the most part, but she remained suspicious. The day she walked in on the two of them, she lost her mind.

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever!” The man in the robe ended his speech and began to pray. Her mind wandered again. In her temporary loss of mind, she couldn’t remember what exactly she had done. She just knew that when it was all over, she was a widow who had also lost the one person she considered to be a best friend. Sure, both people were technically still lying in her matrimonial bed, but there wasn’t any life left in either of them.

The man in robes ended his prayer. There was a minute or two of silence and then a switch was pulled. She felt the first few jolts of electric current run through her and then it was over. She was important, all of the people out there watching her die were evidence enough of that.

-DeAnne Evans


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