Heart Murmurs: A Leap Year Story (part 1)

November 26, 2009

This story is broken down into 29 parts, or journal entries. I do not have it finished, but I’m more than halfway done. Will post a new part every day.

-December 21, 2003

“‘Love him?’ she asked. ‘I have. Even unto death.'”

Why can’t I get those words out of my head? Those are my words, part of my story. I should be able to do whatever I want with them! I created those characters, and gave them dialogue, yet their words have been haunting me these last few years! I have become a woman possessed. Or maybe I’m the one possessing someone else? There’s a thought. By now, you’re probably thinking I’m crazy, and you’d be right. I have this theory that we’re all crazy; we just have varying degrees of crazy. So to say I’m crazy, is a completely accurate statement. The only question is, how crazy am I?

Six years ago, I started writing what will be my first novel. No, it isn’t finished. I keep getting distracted and things keep coming up. Life happens. It still speaks to me though. I hear it whispering in my ear when I think I’m alone with my thoughts. The thing about unfinished stories is that they take on a life of their own. I look over at the pages, already written, and could swear I see the soft and steady rise and decline of breathing. In the silence, I hear the th-thud of its heartbeat, beating in time with my own. Sometimes I wonder if it is my own.

But him. He invades my every thought. Even the thoughts from my novel remind me of him. Not a moment goes by that doesn’t involve him. Not a whisper that doesn’t betray me by breathing his name, or a memory that doesn’t flash me those eyes. He could never love me, and yet- I wonder. Does he think of me?

How crazy am I?

-DeAnne Evans


2 Responses to “Heart Murmurs: A Leap Year Story (part 1)”

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